The Dating Game (and a Beef Stew)

I’ve had a few conversations with friends recently which highlighted to me the terrible ways in which the media have portrayed single women and how we can find partners for life. I was talking with a friend about the series Sex and the City, which I really liked when I was younger. We both said that we had enjoyed it at the time but that we now realise how very damaging it could have been.

Television shows, more often than not, portray women behaving like men. They suggest that single women should be sexually promiscuous, materialistic, pro-abortion and anti-family: they tell young women that these things will make them happy. I can personally attest to the fact that they do not. Being loved, being in a secure relationship, having children … these things make me happy and I am sure that most women, if they are honest, would agree.

Unfortunately, this media onslaught has left a lot of young women in a conundrum because they are acting against their better natures – it is natural to want to be loved and to love one’s children – to pretend otherwise is to do women a disservice. It also means that many young women haven’t the foggiest idea how to behave when beginning a new relationship: should they appear cool, calm, confident and self-sufficient, like men? Should they act as though they don’t care? Or, alternatively, should they chase after the man they want? Should they pursue him, ask him out, be sexually aggressive?

Well, my advice would be that none of these approaches is conducive to a happy and stable relationship. Firstly, men enjoy the chase. Northern European men especially have evolved from hunter-gatherers – they want to pursue women and value them. It is also important to bear in mind that all men, if they tell the truth, do want their women to be women. A man doesn’t want to feel like he is in constant competition with his partner and that she can manage perfectly well without him, thank you very much. This would leave him feeling surplus to requirements. A man wants his life partner to be a woman to him – he wants her to complement his masculinity with her femininity – a “yin to a yang”, if you will.

So my advice is this: never pursue a man! Don’t ask him out, don’t chase after him, don’t make yourself too available. This doesn’t mean being cold and stand-offish but it does mean being a little reticent. Also, I advise young women to value themselves: if you prize yourself highly, you will be seen as a prize. Don’t try to be the “cool girl” who falls in with everything, behaving, to all intents and purposes, just like a man would. Furthermore (and this is a biggie!): Don’t sleep with the man whom you are dating too quickly. I know this sounds old fashioned but it is what my Grandmother used to say (and she was married for over fifty years): make him wait. I absolutely promise that no decent man ever thought less of a woman for making him wait for her. I guarantee that this is the truth.

Once again, I can hear the feminists crying into their soy lattes about the things I have just written but, as I have said before, feminism never led anyone to a happy relationship. Set aside all of the things you have been told by the media (and especially by the poisonous nonsense you see on television): dating and relationships worked this way for us for thousands of years – our grandmothers were far wiser than we.

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Now, on a wholly unrelated (and slightly more mundane) note, I promised another recipe for batch cooking. This is one of my favourites and is very easy to do. It is for beef stew and you will need:

• Stewing beef (or beef left over from a roast dinner)
• Tinned tomatoes
• Beef stock
• Red wine or red wine vinegar
• Tomato puree
• Chopped garlic
• Carrots
• Onions
• Celery
• Mushrooms
• Salt, pepper, parsley and rosemary (optional)

Roughly chop the onions, carrots, garlic and celery. Place in a pan on a low heat with olive oil or a knob of butter and “sweat” until they are all soft.

Turn up the heat and add the beef stock, a tablespoonful of tomato puree, the tinned tomatoes, a couple of glasses of red wine and/or red wine vinegar. Boil until about half of the liquid has evaporated.

Add some water and continue to boil (I usually use two of the empty tomato tins to gauge and to use up all of the tomato juice). Put in the stewing beef (if you are using leftover roast beef, leave this bit until the end). Chop the mushrooms and add these too, along with salt, pepper and herbs.

Boil on a high heat until, again, about half of the liquid has evaporated, then turn down the heat and allow to simmer for at least a couple of hours. If you are using leftover beef, wait until the stew has cooled and then add it to the pan.

You can serve this stew immediately or save it until the next day, when it will have infused and become even more tasty. Any leftovers can be frozen into portions and kept for up to a year.

Hopefully this is all helpful to you. Until next time!